2/? parts

let me bask in the wisdom of your words
feel rather than understand
what they all mean...

let me ride the tide
be one with it
as it is in me
with me

let me know the beauty
of knowing you
and loving you
tho oh so distant...

let me love you the way i know how
..and be loved by you
..the way you do...

let me my love...

with you...

searching

caught in a world
where no walls were left standing
rubbles scattered on the grounds
where no territory is known
never knowing where one has come from
never knowing where one is bound

finding oneself within a prison with no walls
all too free to run far away
hands reaching out but not knowing where or what for
a walk through the oblivion shall never end
for one lost soul

a void deep within remains
undiscovered
the heart having mastered the craft to unfeel
battered with pain and tribulations of the past
choosing a place where no tears shall fall
content not to hope for happiness that lasts

but emptiness grows at each second that passes
as one gets tangled in the spiraling cycle
of vicious night and day
as the void forms a lump that blocks one’s breath
threatening the very existence
that one fought hard to preserve

pretenses shattered
as the soul trembles with the blows of cold winds
amidst the darkness shone a light
though flickering
squinting through a river of tears
bewildered
yet now seeing, feeling
believing

a promise that was once spoken
and that one chose to forget
now echoes back into the senses

longing to fill the void that grew within
the soul decides to follow the light
armed still with nothing but the hope that dawned anew
and faith that replaced the sight

a night to remember and forget

lights flashed blindness to eyes unfocused
not seeing but rather feeling
humid air of human breath
rowdy crowd mocking laughter
noise coated with instrumental plays
of notes and rhythm!

ahhh the first bottle is served
in ice filled bucket, hand shaking for the first reach
feeling the cold at one's fingertips
sending signals to the senses
tonight is the night!

first gulp of bitterness
drowns the taste of sweet realities
thoughts flying towards the unseen
unleashed from strings of norms
tonight is the night!

sobriety vanished as harsh fantasies take its place
mind blown by sheer scent of sweat
an unmindful touch triggers
thirst and longing and hunger
not of whats served
tonight is the night!

a lasting fleeting moment

Like a lasting scent of withered roses

That stays not on the olfactory senses
But in the crevices of the mind

Or the sound of thunder
That broke the silence of the night
Awaking a child sound asleep
Brought fear and cries that will be remembered
For the rest of his life

Or the words spoken reaching far beyond
Knowing, understanding and believing
Unfelt by senses
Touching instead the soul of a trusting heart

As fast were its meanings blown away
Drifting, fading…engulfed by the sound of ripples
In a shallow pond
As soul reaches and begs for that fleeting moment
To last

silly

i smile
you laugh
i ask why
you call me silly
and you give me the warmest smile

i cry
you laugh
i ask why
you call me silly
then u give me a hug

i dream
you laugh
i ask why
you call me silly
then u ask what my dream was

i love
you laugh
i ask why
you call me silly
then you laugh....

of words and feelings and feelings for words

fingers are itchin to write to free oneself of emotions
ideas coming from all directions, concepts vague
and ambiguous at the same time
words come with definitions
abstract as they me be
forms...

sound of thunders brings shivers to the spine
bodies shaking in shock and fear
mind boggled in deciphering
which meanings matter more
which dont?
why...

memories come tumbling in of the forgotten past
those one wishes never happened
those one wishes never ended
of love, hope, pain, fear
betrayal and abandonement
misery...

bringing back thoughts into the present
what one wishes to undersand?
what one wishes to know?
and forget to
write...

words come in bulk, unformed, undefined
braindead to sort, too weak to grieve
one rests in silence, unaccomplished
body curling up in a corner
let them be, let there be unexpressed
sadness...

sleepless

yawn
eyes squint
blurry vision
half dark and half bright hour
fuzzy mind
clumsy senses
defocused attention
or none
unrecognized sounds
chatters in the background
faint response
hallow nod
render me
restless
yawn

you

you
came and gave what all that this world will allow
wove memories laid in paths
unexplored
perhaps will never trek

you
a face i will never see
a voice i will never hear
a touch i will never feel
are longings i can only share

you
a dream i created
a wish i've cursed upon myself
a love best forgotten
a lie made into truth

you
vanished
and i will never know
a futile search of realizations
.
.
.
you return
with a different name
dragging me back into the pit
of you

...a face i wil never see
....a voice i will never hear
....a dream i created

equation

indeed
an end is the signal of a completion,
when we can go back to the equation
anylyze what has become
and what has not...
but what if the end is not recognized?
will the equation ever stop?
ever make sense?
can thus be a formula derived

reminisce

reminisce
'til you once again feel
sensations you are now deprived
warmth you no longer feel
chills that once blew your mind
that you shook off with a laugh
a cold shoulder shrug

reminisce
'til tears come flowing again
a reminder of supressed joy
of emotions denied
affection unacknowledged
mocked profession of love

reminisce
'til you feel feel the desire
burn anew
'til your veins burst in excitement
a throb you feel, urgent, unrelenting
thrusts you will never forget

reminisce
'til all strength is gone
'til you can no more
'til there's none
'til your soul surrenders
to an acceptance

'til there's none

feigned

petals of red with the deep scent of blood
falls in celebration of a union
hypocracy and mockery
of life ------ birth and death
silky white flowing carpet
laid and lied
down the aisle as robust steps
come toward the shining altar

eyes stare in awe
and thoughts of vengeance
the celebration, the union!
the silky red petals!
the scent of blood!

out came a sharp shrieking
hymn...voices of them
angels and devils
the choral of faith....
the taste of life!
birth and death
mocked before the shining altar

because u dont matter

when the tides whip
and make u fall on your knees
or the waves engulf you
and bring to the deepest waters
or the ocean itself takes the life of you
and leaves u at its heart
breathless
don't you ever weep!

when the sun tries
to burn you like coals
dries your brain to a prune
and withers your soul
don't you dare complain!

don't shed a single tear
not for all the pain you have
don't beg for mercy
don't you ever cry!

after all thats been done
after all that you bore

when you give up
when you're gone
the world will not even remember!
no one will care

in this cruel life
you just don't matter

after a debacle

the creepy blank wall stares
heaving sighs
in deafening silence
u listen
a cry of anguish in your heart

unmask the tear you never cried
long before the hand of seconds stop
waste no time
conquer
unveil your desires

the shadows of the past shall haunt
fading dreams and waning hopes
rise!
the call is clear
the battle ain't over
go out to the field

the horizon may yet be dark
no north star yet for you to see
but feel the wind cheering
hear the leaves' applause
the earth below you is moving
prodding
urging
provoking

yield!
soar unto the skies
changing shapes and hue
let you be part of them
and them
of u

1/? parts

one day i'll write a poem for you
about the how we met
and where...and why?
about your hesitant hello
about that sad smile....

let me touch your unfeeling heart
let me fill the void in you
let there be laughter
where there was a frown

let time take it tik-tak pace
no hurry
a day will come
end and start
there will be

one day....

when you're back

i wont again let those lips not kiss me
to feel the warmth
your breath meeting mine
in rhythm no poet will
understand...

i'll make those arms take me
lift me to the peak of ecstacy
carry me as light
as a feather
dancing in the wind
gliding smoothly
you and me
and harmony

i want to kiss those long
slender fingers
in adulation
in sweet surrender
follow its motions
where it touches
and explores

i want to feel the weight
of those strong thighs
as u take me down
and bring me high
intense emotions
wanting and longing
waiting

i want to be one with your soul
our heartbeats be one
our pulse convulsed
in excitement
ah! make me

understand..

i wont again let your lips not kiss me
i shall make you take me
our souls shall be one.

I

I

lived
loved
laughed
shared
gave
took

hurt
cried
fought
survived

returned
believed
hoped

struggled
failed

surrendered
lost

died

I