pasko, kahit ayaw mo

meron bang nakakalimot sa pasko?
kahit nga ang may gusto mahihirapan
sinong magsasabing hindi niya ramdam?
kahit pa hindi siya naniniwala
sa banal na kapanangakan
ng sabi'y bukod tanging nilikha..

balanse nga siguro ang mundo
oo! kahit pasko...
habang naamoy ng ilan ang simoy
ng hanging may pagpapala
nanunuot naman ang lamig sa
katawan ng iba.
habang masayang nagbabalot
ng samu't saring regalo ang mga nagdiriwang
naghahabol ang ilan sa pagtunog
ng kampana, harinawang
may maisaing bago magsara ang mga tindahan

kahit ipikit mo ang mata mo
nariyan ang pasko...
at dapat alam mong may iba
na taos na dumadalanging
lumipas ito, kasabay ang pagkatapos
ng kalam ng tiyan nila, o
nang lamig ng isang bangungot

a christmas that haunts

it was a tree, i remember
of cheap thread and cotton balls
bound to the dilapidated wall
we called home
brushed with glitters
and moldy red lipstick
the only thing, you said
you own

i remember my brother's
pleas when he asked for santa
that night, i knew
you were sad
to tell him santa wont come,
but you chose
to drown your tears
with his cries

you are free, now
i can see your amused smile
almost, as we still
look forward to christmases
and believe santa will
one day come

across a life

i may never learn
the language you speak
i can only feel
the anguish
or the joys
you express, with a shriek
or a calm
drowned in silence

i may never set foot
on the soil
where you grew
your scars and some
false dreams
where you planted
your first kiss
under a lush tree,
when it lived

but we have one
same sky that blankets
a cold night
and same stars
that light a lost path
in midnight hues
when petals fall in twilight
or leaves grow in dews

if you wish
in your slumber, come
near, sometimes
it's warmer on this side

death...(musings)

its official, she's dying...
darn! she thought
and then she thought again
how is it
to be dying unofficially, anyway?

does one need to know
death lurks nearby
to see things to live for
again? to give more
and love
with one's last breath

do hugs come warmer
when it evades death?

it's official, she's dying...
but arent we all?.. in time
some are told, some will have
to keep guessing
does it matter?
when, where, of what, and why?

she looks back
she knows, she loved, maybe
a hundred times
she sold her laughters
for a taste of pain
and pawned pains for
the feel of  life

she's dying..
and she doesnt care
when gods come to judge
she'd curtsy with a smile
she may be dying..now
but she's proud she lived
every minute of her undying life

silly (2)

did you hear
the burst of giggles
as dry leaves crackled
under my feet
crisp pecks tickled
a most vibrant morning

did you see as my eyes
sparkled with
dancing hays, unmindful
of an autumn breeze
did you think it's funny
to breathe in hums
as i do, of notes
that spell your name

do not try to understand
please excuse me,
im just in love..

both ways...

maybe i should tell you
how in your absence
he lent his arms
to dig up anthills and present
me the queen
to reign in daylights
bridged by his tales
little stories he made up
or, maybe not
to make me smile

maybe i should tell you
i loved
his warmth, a heart yet
unscathed of bad news
and unexpected old finds
photographs that waited
to be scrapped or burnt
flipping pages of a new book
waiting a read in his hand

yes i should tell you, he knows
i long for you
to ask of buried tales and past
lingered and lived, i have
when you left with stories
you made up, or maybe not,
that made me cry

resilience

i know you wait
for my knees to bend
after you stabbed my faith
it's largest vein, now bleeds
of void, and reeks
of indifference's stench

yes! draw the black drape
over, the last flicker dies
as hope surrenders

but you can never make
the sun mourn for me
i've chained it's vow to rise
at every dawn, and burn until
the last drop of tears i shed
turn to pearls and find their way
back to patched shells of the past
and live
not a life of sorrow
but dreams in solace