faded rainbow

the colors may have faded
following tides
even blowing winds change
remember
when you felt the canvas
with your hands?

you touched its colors
felt its breath
in your palms

look at your hands now
it is part of what made them
tremble, and grip strong
it is now part of you
that flows

cause when you touched
its colors
you took in the rainbow
to be what you are

now

cheat

i dont want to hear

my silence

because instead i hear your voice

a long time ago

when you concealed forever

in a candy wrap

and gave it to me

as present...

i told you i dont like sweets

they water my mouth

with kindness

and make my stomach churn

of bitterness

but you insisted

said this one we'll share

and that hot coffee you made

will make sure it melts

within us

and then i hear that same voice

that told me last night

we cannot help it

things have changed

we always knew somehow

we were better off

as friends

turn your back now

you have said what you came for here

to say

it ended

i accept, i surrender

dont wait for my reply

harsh words words may

come out this time

i know what happened

you took the candy

and left me the wrapper

the last dusk

i watched you sleep

last night

when you thought i was

sleeping beside you

i cannot take my eyes off your face

your confused eye brows

almost tell a story

of how your day had been

your closed eyes that move beneath

the lids, as if searching

cried a silent tear when i whispered

her name

your lips that formed a frown

for a minute, then a smile lingers

for hours

i stopped thinking

the deep, incomprehensible murmurs

remind me of the first

time you said...

you love me

your words were clear then

my mind was fuzzy

you turned and reached for me

held my hand and pulled me close

it was one time i wished

you were awake

i snuggled, let your arms

wrap around me

feeling your breath on my face

oh god! i prayed

let him wake, and see us this way

or maybe, better not

and let this moment last...

let me remember, as i leave

long after i've turned

my back to a promise made

another song ends

perhaps i should

blame the owl that was too lazy

to create its hooting sounds

or the crickets that masked

their buzzes on a pond's splatter

that night, the moon beams

spreading the stars

on a sky we have never seen

what started as a hum that lived

in the confines of my...illusions

(i sometimes call them dreams)

was heard

by you, by them, the entire world

and cheers spread like wild fire

burning dried leaves and old grass

where my soul slept when

i was just myself

and suddenly you were

dancing my music

your body movements got me

entranced...

swaying, spinning, whirling!

unending chants i hear

they tell me to stop! they tell me

this dream is not mine!

and my shadow watched as i

got lost, in every step towards

heaven or was it hell?

i took every turn, every leap

until there was

none left for me to make, and

i strained

to hear the beat, my guide

in this craze

it's no longer there

leaving me

trapped in this maze