undecided

stay or leave
do not befriend
the shadows hiding
under my bed, waiting
orchestrating
an attack, after i have won
over nightmares

stay or leave
do not let the memories
linger far more than they were
...wither hopes, and dreams
and love!
you cannot sleep
with both devil
and kindness in the dark


stay...

or, leave
now! there's no tomorrow
do not lay claim on what is not

leave...
and i'll spare you of burning
tears

virtual death

today i shall choose
the saddest movie ever made
to watch the grief unfold
and wait until the hero dies
in the arms of his beloved

then i will cry with her
let all the tears fall unabashed
let the darkness consume us
to let out cries unmuffled
equally, unbiased

i shall watch the mirror
that was her dream, break
into tiny pieces, till all lose
their name, her life, nothing
but a story, that now ends

then i shall pick up the shards
let them sharp edges cut
wounds that will bleed and wont
ever heal, as i create a collage
that will make both our stories real

and she will rise, when the sun pans
her morning, and cries have fallen deaf
to the background music that never played
and i too can bury my mournings
of a death never claimed

lost child

smile my child
a new sun for you will rise
not on the shaded greens
of your backyard
but on the horizon you have
stretched your neck to see
how far

i know corns have grown
for you
not on the fields
but on your palms
as you carry half the load
your dad has, on his shoulders
in your heart

the sky was painted
red, when you saw a neighbor shot dead
black, when mom sold her bed for you
grey, when a brother cried for her
ugly when you found all these
...not a dream

the rains will pour
some more, rocks
will bore holes on your roof
knocking on your empty stomach
crashing on paper walls

and them colors will make you
fearless, of more storms so strong
they take you, swallowed by waves
taken to depth, you hold your breath
like a moment of death
then everything you watch in stillness
till the new light flickers

smile my child
you'll need these, to create brighter hues
to paint your world anew
banish that frown that breeds despair
instead, plant left-over dreams
on a land where fairy tales grow

soon, you too will see
scattered  moonlights
stars painted like glitters
in an ocean, hushing the tides
rolling only soft ripples that will carry you
from a lost child to a man
born of fate, grown in wisdom

i only write poems

i borrowed her song
listen to her words
and the melody she made

no, she did not write it for you
but the words, those words
she's written
were what my heart wept
too many nights
the tears that shall flow
as you read, are mine

let them touch your cheeks
as softly as my hands used to
when you closed your eyes
from what the real says
and chose a dream,
a home, a time...that exist
only for us, only ours..

let her music fill your soul
cause i know my poems dont
not anymore, finding them
not enough, meanings
dont hold for long

maybe you expect me to say more
to convince you
there's something to come back for
to write you an end you cannot refuse
or weave you hopes, undoing
what promises failed to keep

but i choose to wait
and watch, in complete silence
in an unmoving darkness that you left

listen to her song, it shall talk to you
the way you'd want me to
the way i know i can't

i only write poems...

withdrawn

i dont want to talk
about the rain tonight
not the lure its splatters make
against an abandoned pavement
along a past untraveled

i dont want to see
the moon and the mood
it intends to show
to foolish mortals awed
of its brilliance
miser, be it, though

let no star hope
i'd catch it when it falls
played that game too many
pouncing on every chance
finding only dead stars
in my hands

i dont mean to sound bitter
pardon me.

let's talk tomorrow.

tonight, im just
too tired.