your music, my dream

i have listened to your music

again, tonight

each chord strummed a tender pain

each note stroked faded hums

i wish i had memories

to look back to as it played

flashing smiles and colors in my mind

but the colors are blurred

and the smile had yet to start

all i had was a dream

of tomorrows held with each others' hand

of days we were yet to create

and your music has ended...

a plea

unaware of my existence, you came

oblivious to my grief, you shone

not wanting my emptiness, you shared

no change for alms, you gave

and i woke...

and then there was green, and there was smoke

relishing a rainbow of multitude colors

oh i cannot even name them!

they just flow..and blend

with my dreams...with you

of you...and yours

but the rainbow has to melt in the sunset

wont it?

can you tell the sun to be still?

i shall lay my hand woven cloak

of blood and tears, for years

and paint them sky with stars

or silence the wails

shrieking indifference i wont let

be heard

hymns of lullaby i'll hum

from the top of my lungs

and the world will hear

maybe it too will listen...

i plead...

anything!.... and all

i be asked

with all my heart i pray...

please stay

i miss you

its not the red roses you bought

but the wild flower you plucked

its not your picture in tux

but that of you in tattered clothes

when you worked in the basement

for who knows many hours

its not your grand entrances

but your late night sneaks

silently taking your side of the bed

kissing me and praying i wont wake

its not the fine restaurant dining

but the sweet breakfast in bed

that you served with apron and all

sweetly making amends for hurtful things you said

its not the big house you shall build

but the dreams we have made

of sharing a sunset by the window

of living together to our last morrow

i miss you

is it too late?

dont let me see you tonight

i saw the brilliance in her smile

the glowing cheeks, pink tho timid

supple skin that shimmered

thru the night, moonlit

starlight showered

ah! yes....such a night!

i too had those nights

and that smile i have once worn

maybe more beautifully

maybe...

i felt i held those stars

glowing in my palms

it warmed not just the night

but my soul

why have they died? when...

was it the night u said goodbye?

where are they now?

are they the same

stars that light her nights?

the pink shade of her cheeks, are they

same blush of your kiss?

or was it the touch

of your finger tips

tender...oh tenderly fled

quiet as a hush but pierced

when u visit, cover your face

dont let me see your eyes

looking at me lest i ask

why...

did u not find, or was there not

enough of what i had

dont let me see your hands

waving and weaving magic in the air

entranced souls dance

to the beat you send them

wanting to linger

far more than you

need nor want them

like you did me

your lust..burning

their desires, as you

your soul razed

by your own

betrayals

dont let me see you tonight

lest i remember

the gentle feel of your stab

that i mistook for love